CATASTROPHE MAP RESEARCH:
Mojo Nature Is Very Disappointed With Mankind.
Following the Haiti earthquake of 2007, Christian storm trooper and philosopher Pat Robertson attributed that tragedy to the LORD’s anger over a slave revolt a few hundred years previously. No one at FOX News labeled him crazy or a charlatan because these are terms they reserve for climate scientists. Nor did his fellow Christians speculate as to why JHWH might have waited so long to mete out punishment.1
In 2010 we also heard from Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi , an Islamic cleric and seismologist2 who revealed that “women who don’t have a suitable appearance (meaning women who do not fully observe the obligatory Islamic hijab) attract young men and lead to the spreading of adultery in the Iranian society which increases the risk of earthquakes.” Sadighi also said that sinning less reduces the likelihood of earthquakes.
Here at CatMap, our spiritual representative is Mojo Nature, a volatile Earth Mother deity.3 When we look around at earthquakes and so on, we sometimes speculate that Mojo is actually causing all the quakes, as well as the uptick in all the other natural disasters.
Is this crazy? Let’s try some perspective: Jews believe that God parted the Red Sea in order to drown Pharaoh, that He stopped the sun in the sky so Joshua could open a can of whoop ass on some Jebusites and that He sent bears to kill a bunch of kids who were making fun of Elisha’s bald pate. Christians believe that Mary gave birth to God’s son4 without having sex even though Jesus had a twin brother, that Jesus transformed water into wine (good wine, no less) and that God influences sporting events. Mormons believe in things that are in the realm of what most people would call science fiction and fantasy, yet there are a hundred million members out there wearing magic underwear. Hindus worship an elephant headed god who is believed by many to drink milk via his household idols in India. So the idea that a deity might have some influence on earthly events, both natural and unnatural, isn’t a new idea.
We hope you aren’t going to argue that only your particular set of fantasies is legitimate and ours is not. That would not only be intolerant, it would fly in the face of rational analysis.
Catholics have men in unusual and colorful gowns to explain cause and effect to the people who support them financially, but we have our own shamans5 at CatastropheMap World Headquarters. These soothsayers tell us that Mojo Nature is increasingly disappointed at the indignities inflicted by this upstart species, and is putting us on a short leash. The more we spew noxious chemicals into the air and water and dig, pick at, drill, blow up and otherwise plunder the planet, the angrier the Earth Goddess becomes. And earthquakes are as good as way as any to show her displeasure.6
According to the belief systems of the ancients, the planet Earth is actually Mojo Nature’s body. Prior to the onslaught of the three great patriarchal religions, prevailing spiritual ideas postulated that the planet itself was a female deity. So called Gaia theory is based on the fundamental premise that the Earth-goddess (literally a goddess who is Earth) is capable of interacting with humans and is intrinsically connected to our minds. The ancients based complex cosmologies on this concept, including the early Christian Gnostics who considered the legitimate god (Earth) to be imprisoned by an insane creator god, who they identified as JHWH, the god of the “Old Testament.” We aren’t making this up. The reason if may be news to you is that once the early Christian bishops gained political power, they got rid of the Gnostics as fast as they could burn them.
This may seem to be a stretch to the average reader, but we merely ask you to take a step back from your conventional thoughts and ask yourself “why not”. One of the beauties of ancient goddess-based religions is that they are quite compatible with modern physics, which Christianity, Judaism and Islam in their literal forms are not. An angry Earth Goddess causing earthquakes and other natural disasters to warn us to stop drilling and blowing up and befouling the planet is no less believable than so called miracles cited by holy men every day to fill the coffers.
SECTION 7 NOTES
1. He left the Israelites as slaves in Egypt for 400 years, so you just don’t know with Yahweh.